Ear Candy: "I Want to Hold Your Hand" by The Beatles
it feels weird for me to need people. i am always the person that other people lean on when things are tough, and it is hard for me to ask for support when i need it. i feel so lucky to have so many people to reach for. and i hope that the people i love know that i love them. and i don't actually think any of you read this anymore, but if you do, know that i mean you so very thoroughly and completely. i love every cell in your body, even the parts i don't always like, and whether we have fought, or drifted apart, or anything else, i treasure you.
my heart is so full. it is full of pain, it is full of love, and it is full of a desperation to hold onto the people who mean the most to me. i know this is me reacting to a tragedy, but i also know that this is me realizing the things that i don't think about enough: that we are all fallible, and fragile, and that we must always fight for the things that are important to us, and the people we love.
i hope you know i never mean to take you for granted.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
spit shine your black clouds
Ear Candy: "Spit Shine Your Black Clouds" by The Blood Brothers
this is one of those weeks i wasn't sure i could face. i'm still not. but last night, seeing all of the old faces in the old places made me feel so much better, at least for the time being.
we were aware of those who were not present with us in physical being, but they were present in love. today we have to say goodbye to one of our own. my heart hurts, and i feel like i can't breath.
i am so grateful for the people in my life who hold me up when i feel like i can't stand.
this is one of those weeks i wasn't sure i could face. i'm still not. but last night, seeing all of the old faces in the old places made me feel so much better, at least for the time being.
we were aware of those who were not present with us in physical being, but they were present in love. today we have to say goodbye to one of our own. my heart hurts, and i feel like i can't breath.
i am so grateful for the people in my life who hold me up when i feel like i can't stand.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
all things grow, all things go
Ear Candy: "Chicago" by Sufjan Stevens
I love you, Dommie. I'm so sorry we couldn't get through. I hope you know how much you will be missed, and how loved you are. You were a truly beautiful soul, and you made my life so much brighter. I will always hold you in my heart, with my other loves I lost too soon. At least I know you won't have to fight anymore.
RIP Dominic Agius, a beautiful soul.
love.
I love you, Dommie. I'm so sorry we couldn't get through. I hope you know how much you will be missed, and how loved you are. You were a truly beautiful soul, and you made my life so much brighter. I will always hold you in my heart, with my other loves I lost too soon. At least I know you won't have to fight anymore.
RIP Dominic Agius, a beautiful soul.
love.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Tuesday, February 08, 2011
and i feel like i just don't know
Ear Candy: "Heroin" by The Velvet Underground
There is no universal moral code that should dictate human behavior. There is no such thing as good or evil, there is no universal standard of right and wrong. Our values and morals come from us and belong to us, whether we like it or not; so we should claim them proudly for ourselves, as our own creations, rather than seeking some external justification for them.
I feel like I am finally waking up.
There is no universal moral code that should dictate human behavior. There is no such thing as good or evil, there is no universal standard of right and wrong. Our values and morals come from us and belong to us, whether we like it or not; so we should claim them proudly for ourselves, as our own creations, rather than seeking some external justification for them.
I feel like I am finally waking up.
Tuesday, February 01, 2011
you can do whatever you like
Ear Candy: "Whatever You Like" by Anya Marina
This is what I do on Sundays:
Sunday Morning Chais with Brianna is becoming one of my best and most favorite traditions. It gets me out of bed, and I get to start my day with a good friend, good conversation, and a delicious drink that never disappoints.
Sometimes I feel like my life is awful. And then I actually look at it, and realize that actually, my life is awesome, and full of wonderful people.
E
This is what I do on Sundays:
Sunday Morning Chais with Brianna is becoming one of my best and most favorite traditions. It gets me out of bed, and I get to start my day with a good friend, good conversation, and a delicious drink that never disappoints.Sometimes I feel like my life is awful. And then I actually look at it, and realize that actually, my life is awesome, and full of wonderful people.
E
the great escape
Ear Candy: "Drain the Blood" by The Distillers
So Cheryl and I are escaping this summer. I am so ready for the change. We are leaving the 1st of June, and going to Europe, and Asia, and the Middle East, and all over for three months. She is continuing on after I leave, and I wish I could give into wanderlust forever, but I have to go to big kid college in the fall. I'm not getting any younger.
We are getting shots and passports this week. I am going to dye my hair dark again so that I am not obviously as obviously an American tourist woman standing out in hostile territories. We are going to travel as a part of the courier service. We are going to couch surf, and camp, and work on organic farms. We are going to hike, and climb, and explore. We are going to swim, and get lost, and eat weird food, and I have never been more scared or excited in my entire life. And when I get back, I am going to move into a new home in a new city and start a new life. Probably with a new tattoo.
It is weird when the things that you always thought you wanted end up being the exact opposite.
E
So Cheryl and I are escaping this summer. I am so ready for the change. We are leaving the 1st of June, and going to Europe, and Asia, and the Middle East, and all over for three months. She is continuing on after I leave, and I wish I could give into wanderlust forever, but I have to go to big kid college in the fall. I'm not getting any younger.
We are getting shots and passports this week. I am going to dye my hair dark again so that I am not obviously as obviously an American tourist woman standing out in hostile territories. We are going to travel as a part of the courier service. We are going to couch surf, and camp, and work on organic farms. We are going to hike, and climb, and explore. We are going to swim, and get lost, and eat weird food, and I have never been more scared or excited in my entire life. And when I get back, I am going to move into a new home in a new city and start a new life. Probably with a new tattoo.
It is weird when the things that you always thought you wanted end up being the exact opposite.
E
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