Even the Best Fall Down Sometimes...

Ear Candy: "Collide" by Howie Day

So tonight was OC night, which was fine and all, but honestly, the only real event of the night was the ride home. Ginge drove me home, which was fun, because it was like old times. We talked about everything that had happened, and I told her that I missed her so much. And she told me she missed me too, and that she had never hated me, and we both apologized. I know that I can never hope to have back what we used to have, but I am so thankful that I can have at least this with her. She is a best friend like none I have ever had, and when I lost that, you can bet I felt it. Even after everything that was said and done, she still means so much to me. There are so many songs that make me think of her, so many memories that make me smile, or cry... And I still can't go get bagels in my jimmy jams without missing her. I know we will never be close like we were, but I need to at least be ok with her, and to know that we are ok... I need that. And there are tears streaming down my face (I fell so stupid when I cry in front of people) and I don't know if they are happy or sad, or relieved, but they feel good. It feels so good to get all this out. So Gingey, (I am not even sure if she reads this or not, not that any of this is anything she hasn't heard...) I lurve you darling... Thank you for tonight... For everything. I owe you.


If you are reading this, especially tonight, I love you.

~E