Attention, attention, may I have all your eyes and ears?

Ear Candy: "Attention" by The Academy Is...

Ok, so can I just say how much I hate pretentious people? I am sitting in the Cafe Noir, this adorable little coffee shop in downtown Monterey that makes the best cup of coffee I have ever had... And I am sitting upstairs working on my Spanish homework and pretending I am not eavesdropping on the pompous upper division students working on some assignment for their Global Studies class. I hate them. I don't even know them, but after a hakf hour of listening to their pretentious, mind-numbing "look how aware and enlightened I am, and how much I know about current issues regardless of how whether or not what I am talking about is related" psychobable. There is a blonde girl whose pants are too short and who is wear ugly sneakers and keeps attacking everyone else and blabbering on about dictatorships and diamond smuggling in Zimbabwe, and how Africa doesn't value human life. Apparently, she has a better understanding of the UN and how the UN should handle everything than anyone who works there... There is a loud, curl haired guy who looks like he hasn't showered in a while and who talks and talks and talks like he understand all the secret innerworkings of all the world's governments, and how could we be so simple minded as to not understand all of the possible aspects that go into Swiss bank accounts and money laundering. And then there is a quiet Russian guy who gets interrupted a lot and talked down to by the other two.

People like that drive me crazy... And you all know what kind of people I am talking about... The ones who are (start reading with a snobby voice here) oh so enlightened and politically aware, the young, hip, college student who knows so much more than the rest of the world because they took introduction to contemporary politics. (/snobby voice) They are convinced that they are on a higher plane of thinking from the rest of the world. The ones who debate useless philosophers and have conversations that are nothing but name dropping and inflated bullshit. The same individuals that feel the need to write unprovocated political commentaries padded with ostentatiously huge words that serve no purpose beyond making those reading it feel stupid. Who read things like Bukowski just so they can say they have read it... Those who have themselves pinned as modern-day beat generation enlightened idealists. People who bump the table and spill my latte all over the leg of my last pair of clean jeans, and then look at me with the most condescending look they can muster, as if to say, "how dare you be such an idiot as to assume it would be a good idea to put your coffee onto a coffeetable!" People like that make me crazy!

If you have abandoned the potential theory that your shit doesn't smell, I love you. (If you haven't, trust me. IT DOES.)

~E