It's always prettier in Icelandic

Ear Candy: "Inní mér syngur vitleysingur" by Sigor Ros


The worst part of breaking up is how you hate everything that you used to love because it reminds you of when you were happy, and not empty like now. The music I used to love now breaks my heart further into tiny pieces. The places I used to love to go (the beach, the aquarium, the park, my bed..) they all hurt to think about. And the boy I used to love. Who I still love so much it hurts... It would be better if I could hate him too. I think it might feel better. I hate him for doing this to me, for dropping me so suddenly. But I don't hate him at all, and that is so much of what hurts. I wish I could just make this all go away. Go to a place where I had never met him, and never fell in love with him, so that I never have to feel this pain. (Although I think that I would rather take the pain then have to give up the last year of my life, although it has only been two days of indescribable hurt, so we'll see...) I hate myself for feeling so weak, for not being able to drop him as quickly as it felt like he dropped me. I would so love to demonize him, to make him a monster who never cared... And while everything that has happened between us is now up for consideration, and I wonder how much I could have ever meant to him, I know that he is not the terrible person I would so love to think that he is. The truth is that he meant, and still does mean the world to me, and what breaks my heart is that he doesn't feel the same. That he doesn't love me. That there was something about me that made him not want to stay, that made him not want to fix it, there was and probably still is something about me that keeps him from being able to love me.

That's the worst part about break ups: the only person I really end up hating is myself.

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