Oh simple thing, where have you gone?

Ear Candy: "Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane (I love everything about this song)

I did nothing today. Well, nothing of significance anyway. And I loved it! After Katie dropped me off in her new car (!!!) I bummed around, played the Sims, showered and dragged my dad to the grocery store, all the while dodging phone calls from annoying people who I did not want to hang out with on my lazy day. Then I made a really good grilled cheese sandwich. It was a successful day. Now I am going to go drive around with Jess and Katie and have things be as they were. I miss those days when we were all so close. But it just goes to show you, you can never go back. But I think tonight we might try, and either way, I will always love my girls...

Laterz, E

Oh, I lost mine...

Ear Candy: "This Velvet Glove" by The Red Hot Chilli Peppers

OK, so tonight was fun funny fun fun fun. I went out for thai food with Katie and Rosie... Cathy showed up half way through, and we had some delightful thai rolls and all sorts of yummy things. I love thai iced tea, ephedra content be damned!! Today I pretty much did nothing but lounge around, but it was fun.. I needed a chill day after last night's surf rock-induced fun. I love the beach. And of course, the lovely phone call from my dad "So, me and your sister had to take a trip to the Emergency room.... We're fine... Just thought I would let you know..." WTF?! He just split his head open, which in the spectrum of all the idiot injuries we have gone through, is not that bad. I think I fully freaked out Julia though... But back to tonight... After dinner (at Thai Taste, which is very good. Good food, reasonably priced, cozy intimate atmosphere...) we walked around for a while, and then went and saw Hide and Seek with Buffi and Sarah. Wow, that movie terrified me. I did NOT See that coming... But I was laughing at really inopportune moments, because the sherrif in the movie was played by the same guy that played Robert Macnamara in Thirteen Days, that Cuban Missel crisis movie we watched in history last year. So whenever he came on the screen, I had to make a comment in the Kennedy accent... BOMB! Needless to say, we were curled in eachother's laps wibbling and freaking out... I think I bit Katie. But me, Katie, and Sarah were afraid to sleep alone, so we are all crashing at Katie's house... And I am tired, so I'm out...

I love you.

Laterz, E

But yes, I did call her monkey...

Ear Candy: "Bad Dream" by Lyrics Born (courtesy of Brie via Cappy)

BAHHH!!! Guess who has two thumbs and hates EVERYTHING? *thumb point at self* This guy... Yeah, so maybe I don't hate everything... These are things that I like:
* Brianna
*Brianna's Bed
*Lap tops
*Hot Chocolate
* Brianna's little Monkey-Dog
*Destiny's Child making me "Lose My Breath"
*When Brie dances like a black person +++++
* Not having to go to French
*Proposing to my Katiekins with roses
*Late night conversations with RoRo involving action figure-sized hobbits...

Yeah, I am sure there are more, but those are the ones that relate to what I am doing right now... Um, this week has sucked my ass so hard it is not even funny... But that just means that the universe owes me a really good weekend. Git 'r Done. Heckacopter tonight a la Phoenix... I am not even going to try and compete with the Puppycat groupies.... LAME. Erin = too cool for that. Erin= too modest for words...

Here's a theory for you to completely disregard: Anything can be accomplished by wearing a slutty shirt. Unless you are... er... rather "portly", then we will do anything to make you change.

That was mean of me. I am feeling bitchy and this is my blog. Fuck off.

Cleaning Brie's room. Late.

Laterz, E

Follow your heart, not your comforts...

Ear Candy: "Time of No Reply" by Nick Drake

So today sucked. A lot. I am so so tired of it sucking and of only writing blog posts that ooze emo and bum people out.

So I was talking to Khouansiva today (I love her so much. She is truly amazing in every way possible and she doesn't even see it.) and she asked me what I want. It's a very simple question, but I came up with a lot, and I felt the need to get it down...

*I want things to make sense
*I want certain people to like me and to go to turnabout with me and to stop being a dillhole.
*I want my old friends to stop hating me and treating me like dirt and talking down to me, and to get over themselves, and for us all to get along. I miss them, Gingey especially...
*I want everyone to stop yelling at me and being mad at me for things I didn't do.
*I want a part in a play that means something, and for people to realize that I deserve to be there just as much as they do...
*I want a vacation where people actually call me and I don't have to pull teeth to see people
*I want a real hug with a squeeze that makes me feel better
*I want friends that aren't only friends with me because they want something, and that I know I can count on.
*I want to be happy. I am so fucking tired of being unhappy.
*I want... I want my mommy... There is nothing I can do about that one.

I want a minute of normality... I am so tired of all of this, of everything. I need to go to bed.

Mario and Brittany need to stop fucking to we can finish filming our project. I take a while to edit. BAH.

I love you.

Laterz, E

I Didn't Lose My Mind... Someone Took It...

Ear Candy: "Dear Can" by !!!

GAH!!!

I am so so so soooooooo NOT ok with people telling me what to think or do, or pressuring me into their way of thinking. Contrary to popular belief, not only do I have a conscience and the ability to make decisions, I use them!!! And people speaking for me and basing things off the crazy things I say when I am mad (which I usually NEVER act on) is completely stupid and don't blame me when y'all put words in my mouth.

Fuck this, why am I defending myself? I didn't do anything wrong.

Get over yourselves.

Laters, E

B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

Ear Candy: "Video Killed the Radio Star" by The Buggles (l'original, bitches!)

OC party was fun. O.C. = heroine for the brain. I like it better than heroine because there is no needle involved. Apples are not kosher. Krispy Kreme is. I miss Frankie very very much. I want to pay his phone bill. Not shaving legs is nasty. Not wearing deoderant is worse. Ryan is good at spelling. Gwen Stefanie should never rap. Last night was both super fun and super depressing. Birthday parties and Damien Rice = bad combination. Michael is a good guy. I am up way to early. I am excited for shopping. Kacey is throwing a party, I get a free cup. I probably wont go. Everyone is going to turnabout. No date. Everyone is dating someone. They're lame. I am tired. My dad is buying me a car. I hate sounding spoiled. I hate driving stick.

I love you.

Laterz, E

Naptime Rebels!

Ear Candy: "Naked Girl" by The Velvet Teen

SO yeah, went to the Phenomenauts show with Katie. There was much fun to be had.

Opener bands = LAME LAME LAME
*Left Alone -should have been kept that way
* Mastema -who brings a four year old kid to a rock show? If I were in a band, I would stop rocking when I had kids... Or at least keep them at home!
* Freak Accident - So lame we were forced to go to Deaf Dog, which is not lame.
*Mongoloid - trying to be the Phenomenauts, only dumber.

Night in recap: Fun bus ride on warm comfy bus to Petaluma. Cold walk to Phoenix from bus stop. Petaluma = cold as fuck. Opener bands = suckage like whoa. Deaf Dog = yum. There were these little pocket-sized punks that I swear could not have been older than 12, and they were all rebellious and anarchistic, and I have to question, what were they rebelling against, nap time? Hence the term the Naptime Rebels. There was one in particular, a very rowdy, annoying boy with a lot of black curly hair and a bow that for no fathomable reason we referred to as 'Lunchmeat'. Much amusment (word to not being able to spell!) there. Phenomenauts were awesome, def worth the wait. Rockage was achieved, although Lunchmeat staged dived and kicked me in the eye. Will have mark there, which will be referred to as a battle wound.

I am tired. I can't stop shaking, I am so tired. And my heat got fixed today!! YAY!

Erin = heading off to her nice toasty bed *grin*

I love you.

Laterz, E

It was only a kiss...

Ear Candy: "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers

I love love love this song times 10. It boggles my mind how people write songs... I write poems all the time, but setting them to music just seems difficult. Especially in a world where it is so important to be unique and different and to distinguish yourself from everyone else. If you have to make your sound different than everyone elses's, what do you base off of?

Sorry to everyone if I have been in a funk lately... I am not entirely sure what is up with me. But I know I get very difficult to be around at times. And that I talk a lot. I have a lot to say, and this theory that everyone needs to hear it. Perhaps I take the theory too far? New resolution: Blog more, talk less.

Song change: "Let Go" by Frou Frou

I love when the people around me amaze me, or surprise me. In a world where I am constantly feeling separated, it is always nice when someone says or does something (usually little things that they don't even realize they are doing) that bring me back. Shane is awesome. I don't actually know him that well, but he is really cool to talk to. For no reason that I can understand, I got up early today and went for a run. I hate running, but I was moved to go, so my dog and I went and did our hearts a favor. I can't wait for swimming to start. Unfortunate fact about swimming starting: It starts on Valentine's Day, one of the three most depressing days of the year. BAH to that.

Last night was really funny. I was sitting with my dad and my sister on the couch eating our dinner of sushi and this really yummy tofu thing my dad made (the table is too covered in our paper work to actually eat at) and I go to let the dog inside (he has a habit of running away when the garage door opens, but he always comes back) and he comes running in with something in his mouth. We all kind of look at him, and then my dad says " is that a loaf of bread?" It was. SO my sister starts chasing the dog around the house trying to get the bread back, my dad is continuing to marvel at the fact that the dog has a loaf of bread, and I am falling over I am laughing so hard. I think I am the only one that finds the situation amusing, and I am not even sure why I laughed.

I need to do something.

If you are reading this, I love you.

Laterz, E

You there, in the adorable scarf...

Ear candy: "The Only Living Boy in New York" by Simon and Garfunkel

So yes, today was definitely a day of Arthurian Legend films. Props to Ethan and Dillon for their supremely well-edited project film, I was impressed. I must say, the presentations def made me feel quite shitty about the poster I made at three in the morning. And this is looking to be a weekend where I do absolutely nothing and just study. Not cool, but will accept it. Hell, I probably need to study for French. I slack off way too much in that class. I think the only way we know some of the phrases is because Madame yells them at us waaay too much and tries to get us to speak more French.. ("Ah non, Beatrice! En francais!" "Nicholas! Pas en anglais") Yeah, kinda like that...

So here's a theory for you to completely disregard: Everyone has gone crazy. Completely and totally insane. All my friends for one, seem to have caught spring fever like, three months early and are all boning eachother. And then they are all emotional and snippy and vague. I am so completely confused by everyone around me... What ever happened to using your words?

Phenomenauts tomorrow at the Phoenix. I think Katiekins and I are going to be hitting that shit up mad style... We haven't been to a show in entirely too long. Can I just say that I love Katie so so so so much. I know she doesn't read this, but she is still fabulous.

Song change: "Little Piece of my Heart" by Big Brother and the Holding Company

This is one of those posts where I really don't get around to saying much, because although I have quite a lot to say, or to write about, or that I want to say and whatnot, putting it into words is the tough part. If you really care that much, get me all liquered up and I'll probably tell you. That or attempt to make out with you. It's like a fifty-fifty chance...

If you are reading this, I love you.

Laterz, E

E-Dating to the MAX

Ear Candy: "Asleep" by The Smiths

Ok, so I saw thin in Shane and Brie's blogs, and it made me laugh. Plus, I kind of liked the idea of the application, not that I think it would ever catch on. But this is all stuff I ask people, so I figure I should answer it too... PLus, I am procrastinating. BAD!

NAME? Erin Elizabeth Sweeney
EMAIL/SCREENNAME? If you know me, you have it
AGE? 15 almost 16
LOCATION? Northern California
DRINK? yes
IF SO, WHY? socially, not excessively and not very frequently
SMOKE ANYTHING? on occasion
IF SO, WHY? because Brie is very "pursuasive", and because it seemed fun.

WHERE DO YOU STAND POLITICALLY? On the political spectrum test we took in history last year, I was three points away from being a commie... uber liberal about says it...
WHERE DO YOU STAND RELIGIOUSLY? I was born Jewish, and we celebrate the holidays, but I don't think my heart is in it... I am not even sure if there is a God. But I am all for other people having a religion, just so long as they don't force it on others.
WHERE DO YOU STAND ON THE TOPIC OF SEX? I think that sex is a very important part of a relationship, and that although it is totally possible to have sex without love, love makes it better.
HAVE ANY STDS? Never.
WOULD YOU LET ME HANG OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS? The more the merrier!
VEGETARIAN? No red meat or pork or anything.
VEGAN? don't have the self discipline and it's to hard to get protein.
DO YOU LIKE TO WATCH MOVIES? Yes.
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT SITTIN AROUND SOMETIMES AND JUST DOING NOTHING? I love it. It keeps me sane
WHAT ARE YOUR MAJOR INTERESTS? Dance, singing, acting, writing, music... I love being creative
MUSIC? I listen to a little bit of everything.
MOVIES? Nothing too scary
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT KITTENS AND PUPPIES? They're adorable, more so if they are house broken....
WHERE IS YOUR PLACE OF RESIDENCE? My paren't house in SR
WHERE DO YOU BELIEVE THE FREE HAND SHOULD GO DURING SPOONING? Wherever is most comfortable
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MUSICAL INSTRUMENT? The piano or guitar
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? Italian or Thai food
HOW WOULD YOU TREAT ME? with as much respect as you give me.
DECRIBE YOUR ROOM. Always cold (heater broke) and something my parents decorated when I was little. CDs everywhere, usually pretty clean.
HAVE YOU EVER CHEATED BEFORE? No. Nothing good can ever come from it.
WOULD YOU TAKE ME TO HANG OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS? Didn't we already have this one?
DO YOU CALL EVERYDAY? I won't call if I have nothing to say, but I will always call when I say I will.
WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DATE ME? Probably because I see something in you that I'm drawn too.
DO YOU LIKE ANIMALS? Yes.
IF SO, WHICH IS YOUR FAVORITE? I don't have one. And is that really fair to the ones I don't pick?
DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS? of course!
DO YOU DANCE? All the time
DO YOU READ? As much as I can
DO YOU LIKE WALKING/RUNNING? I love going for walks, running is the worst.
WOULD YOU BURY SOMEONE THAT THREATENED A FRIEND? What, like kill them? No! I am not the mafia!
WHATS ARE YOU MOST SCARED OF? Being alone. Being abandoned or unwanted. The dark. NEEDLES
FINALLY, WHO/WHAT WOULD YOU PICK IF IT CAME DOWN TO IT......................
- THE SIMPSONS OR FAMILY GUY... Family Guy.
- NAS, JAYZ, or NERF HERDER... Nerf Herder
- YOUR BROTHER OR BEST FRIEND... I don't have a brother... Best friend!
- YOUR BEST FRIEND OR boyfriend... a guy is never worth losing friends over. Best friend.
- YOUR boyfriend OR YOUR BROTHER... yeah, still don't have a brother... So, boyfriend.
- YOUR FAMILY OR YOUR FRIENDS... This is worse than Sophie's Choice! Both.
- BOOK OR DVD COPY OF THE O.C.. huh? How is that even the same?
- FLUFFY SMALL DOG OR NORMAL TO LARGE DOG- normal to large dog...
- MORRISSEY OR ROBERT SMITH..... Ooh, that is really tough... I'm listening to "Asleep" right now and can't imagine one without the other being fabulous. But I guess Morrissey...

DO YOU????
PAINT? I like to, but I'm not good at it
RIDE A BIKE? when I get the chance
DRIVE A CAR? not legally, but I love driving. I can't wait to get a liscence
SKATEBOARD? I fell down too much and gave up
LIKE TO COOK? yes.
LIKE TO BE COOKED FOR? yes.
LIKE ANYTHING ELSE BESIDES HARDCORE? of course.
HAVE A BRAIN? yes.
THINK FOR YOURSELF? yes.
LAST BUT NOT LEAST........DESCRIBE YOURSELF IN A FEW LINES THAT WOULD MAKE YOU BETTER THAN THE NEXT. Wow, I don't even know...

Texas Smells Like a Hangover

Ear Candy: "Not A Pretty Girl" by Ani DiFranco

Have you ever had the feeling that you are going to cry at any moment, and you have absolutely no idea why? (I am not sure why I am addressing that to 'you', as I am pretty sure that no one reads this. But that is ok, because I guess I do this for me and not everyone else, right? Right. I like being right...) But anyway, I am having that kind of feeling... It could be the fact that I have a very depressing play list rocking the iPod, or the thought of all of these family/love related holidays approaching (i.e. Valentine's Day, Mother's Day (ok, so in four months, but I like to think on the big scale...)) and I get to be alone on them, or maybe it is simply the everyday suckage that life ushers in. Whatever the case, fuck it. I am tired of this funk that I am in right now. I was so pissed off today, and I was really not even sure why. My new German jacket is awesome, my hair wasn't even curling, and there had been no serious brawls in my house this morning involving the flinging of breakfast foods (see yesterday morning). But I was just bothered! And did I even have any right to be? My whatever is so inconsequential in comparison to the plights of the rest of the world. I want to be in Asia. I want to help those people. To grab them and hug them and cry with them and tell them that everything will be ok. Because I so desperately want everything to just be ok. For everyone. Haven't we had enough of this yet? And my heart goes out to those in my everyday life, to those with difficult decisions to make, and perhaps even more so to those who have already made their choices.

I can't stop thinking about this quote Mr. Schloemp said at the beginning of the Children's Hour, "no one willingly chooses evil, they are simply confused about what is good". I know that I for one have never even thought that anything that I do, or decisions that I make are the wrong ones. But that is rather snobby and self righteous isn't it? I mean, think about it... I know I do.

Song change: "Fall to Pieces" by Avril Lavigne

Wow, I really like this song. I want to write down the words and then wear them. I hear the song and feel it. Wow, now I sound completely ludicrous, and perhaps even more hippie than usual... But as lame as it is, this song is great. Her new album (well, new-er) is fab. I really didn't like the last one and the emphasis on image that the last one had, but this one is definitely worth listening to.

I am an empty shell. It’s like I have forgotten how to feel. I am sleeping, and I forgot how to wake up. But what if my proverbial alarm goes off and I sleep forever? But at the same time, there are people that I love, and I am scared to love them. I am scared to let people know I have feelings, or whatever. I hate opening up, I always get screwed over and hurt. Look at me bitching. Pas chouette.

I want to be a princess. Mostly because I like going to balls (I have never been to one, but they look fun!) And also because if I am a princess, I think it ups my chances of being carried off by a shining knight with a white horse into the sunset and living happily ever after. SO what happens when I've picked the knight and I am not sure he is down with happily ever after? Or hey, princesses also seem to get kidnapped and conquered when the palace gets stormed. I'm down. (Sorry... Is the frustration showing a bit?)

Song change: "At the Stars" by Better than Ezra

Wow, I have really lost my mind over break. It's not that I have gone crazy, simply lost the ability to think. Also pas chouette. I blame school for my newly discovered mental retardation. It is really not good on me. Everyone made friends without me. If this was P.E., I would get picked last for every team for every game. That's why I swim: no one has to pick me. I pick myself, and we are going to go swim. By ourselves. Did I just become two people?

SO it has been brought to my attention that I never write in this. Point. Originally I made this simply so I could comment on other people's journals... But now I am going to put this to good use, or attempt to anyway... I generally only write in these things when I have something to say. I am not sure if I do, but we'll see...

If you are reading this, know that I love you.

Love, E