Could we please be objective?

Ear Candy: "Seeing Other People" by Belle and Sebastian

Did you miss me? I haven't written anything in so long, I doubt anyone still even reads this. So many times I have had so much to say, and I had every intention of sitting down and pouring my heart and mind into my key board, but each time would sit down with a purpose and get up not quite remembering what that purpose was.

I hate those posts that just summariaze life, because if you really were so curious about my life, I suppose you could just pick up the phone and call me. I am finding friends in the strangest of places, hands reaching out to me from places I would not have forseen. And then there are the old friends who I feel like I have lost (or maybe never had?) And my heart strings are being fired up in the starangest, and oldest of places. Isn't it funny how you can bury something into your heart and forget about it, seemingly having destroyed it, and then months later it can rear its ugly head? I don't think I will ever understand my own emotions. And I don't think I would ever want to.

People are so surprising. I find out new things about the people I thought I knew at every turn in the road. Dimensions make me love people more. And isn't it strange and funny how people take things and call them their own, and only you know the truth? When suddenly you become a fallower of your own ideas? That doesn't sound so bad, but I hate being told what I thought...

I am suddenly overcome with a paniced feeling, like I have no future, like there is nothing for me after high school, and maybe I am not so smart after all? What happens when I am sitting there with a pile of seven letters and none of them want me? What then? What happens when there is no one who wants me?

If you love me, I love you.

~E