Am I not pretty enough?

Ear Candy: "Not Pretty Enough" by Kasey Chambers

Of course I said I wasn't mad. What was I supposed to do? Scream? Cry? Tell you how honestly hurt I am? Were you ever going to tell me, or just wait for me to realize it. So I'm suddenly not good enough? On what grounds did you base that? Or were you trying to protect me by not telling me, keep me from hurting that much longer? Well, thank GOD you didn't ruin my day, what with me ripping my favorite jeans, burning myself at work (not to mention we ran out of aprons, so i didn't get to wear one, and i was splashed with dishwater in a manner so strategic that i managed to give the impression that my left breast was lactating for the better part of tonight), a pointless rehersal, another let down, and schloemp telling me that my essay was bad and i wouldn't get into college. Thank you, dear dear friend, for dumping me on my ass. Did you think to ask me? Or did you even think about me at all? Did you even care? How does it feel to be a sellout?

" When you walk by a group of quote-unquote normal people
You chuckle to yourself patting yourself on the back as you scoff
It's the same superiority complex
Shared by the high school jocks who made your life a living hell
And makes you a slave to the competitive capitalist dogma
You spend every moment of your waking life bitching about "

A hug and a "don't be mad, i still love you" don't quite cut it. Not that they ever have. I'm not mad, I'm hurt, and I am disappointed. Why am I supposed to be the graceful, understanding one. Understand what?! That I'm not good enough? I don't think I ever have been. for being such a loud, seemingly confident person, I am very insecure. And my friends are supposed to be my safety net. What do I do when they drop me? An once again, she gets picked over me. And the jury is not surprised.

If you can be sure this isn't about you, then I love you.

~E